Natasha Kolubelova - Amazing artistic skills - The best I have seen!

The Wall

The Brick Wall


You stand cracked and withered, bruised and battered
On this lonely hill with your crown shattered
Memories engraved on you by children and men
Show you have stories of old intended to tell
How cruel your fate and how loneliness you must hate
For only to a tolling bell you awake

Curse you for sharing your grief
For my loneliness also runs as deep
Finding you here I’m in disbelief
As you unfold I hold my weep

I shall never meet you again
But on you my story I will lay
I shall add to your portrait of pain
With another soul share it you may
My back on you I shall lean in dismay
Knowing on this hill you will always remain

Damn you for sharing your sorrows
My own is in the chorus
Nonetheless I hope you keep well
For now I bid you farewell

Written by : Ravi The Rat

Wishes

If you had one wish .. what would it be...?

The Damned Man

I agree I was a wicked child
For the devil I made him think twice
I knew no fear with this vulgar mind
I was craving for something demonic yet kind.
My soul the wolves of life did find
Took me up and nurtured me blind
Understanding everything around me
Not knowing what will become of me
False was everything that touched my soul

As day by day I found solace in the cold , Made me weak it did not…
But rage I did at its depraved onslaught, My treachery was never caught,
Though for redemption, oh how I sought

Many years I've lead in tears, For things I have done in dire
Oh yes… I have lit the fires, And slept on blood red sapphires
Danger was a foolhardy stranger, And hunger was a beggar at linger
The pain was all that I gained, As my dreams rotted in vain
My confidence the king of all my banes!!!

I tell you this as a man that hath been damned.

Written by : Ravi The Rat

My Favorites

For those of you who find these dark, there are lighter toned poems in my earlier works, they also happen to be my favorites, as listed below :

1. Dancing Candle

2. The Brick Wall

3. The Presence

4. Table at The Bar

I need all of you to read these four poems and leave your comments here on which you think is best among the four.

The chronicles of a living breathing "human rat"

1970 - 1974 :
Born in August 20 1970 (the devil must have cursed this day) in Kuala Lumpur General Hospital -what a hoot!!

1974 - 1976 :
Learned to read by the time I was 4 and begin going to Kindergarten at 4 to St. Aidens, Bahau, Negeri Sembilan.

1976 – 1977 :
Went to continue preschool in Malacca and went on to primary one (my dad passed on during the holidays)

1978 – 1979 :
Moved to Johor Bahru – Sek. Ren. Keb. Ayer Molek to continue primary two and moved to KL for primary 3 – I became a librarian with the sole objective of stealing books and created a mini library in my house(behind my sisters cupboard – and 2 days before we moved to KL I got rid of the books in a River by the house to avoid getting busted by mom! I actually felt sad in letting those books go! Moby Dick by Herman Melville and Black Beauty by Ann Sewell were among the heaps of Enid Blyton’s Secret 7 and Famous 5.

1979 – 1982 :
Moved Back to KL to continue primary 3 and half way we moved back to Johor Bahru to finish up Primary 6 (by this time I couldn’t be bothered making friends or losing them, also I did my first scam among class mates by charging them 5sen for making their pencils look brand new (I spat on them and wiped em’ clean with my pants, and told them I had a special chemical to do it – hey I was 10 years old!! Give me a break!! Also I applied for food coupons for orphans (not that we were poor – It was so I could keep my pocket money to by World War II model airplanes in Singapore. It was 3Sing dollars back then there was no difference in currency rates. I used to take a bus to Singapore without my mom knowing about it!

1983 – 1984 :
Moved to KL – Sek Men Hulu Klang … I found a friend, Nazri and eventually found another friend Din (we are still friends – more than 2 decades has passed) we were riots! We threw fire crackers into people’s homes and stole the mail for our stamp collection, we also picked up playing the guitar and chess. Break dancing and BMX bicycles were the other things we were into, I studied hard at night and never lost my reading habits though I kept it a secret…. Why I don’t know…! Over the weekends we broke into the klang gate dams for our weekly swimming incursions!!

To be continued….

PART 2

1984 - 1985 :

Moved to another school for 3 months and then quit to help my step dad in a palm oil plantation, it was fun out in the rurals - was getting sick of schools though I did well in exams, somewhere this time I started liking chemistry ( lots of chemicals in the plantation in Ulu Bernam) .. I think this was because of the TV show Macgyver (richard dean anderson..) anyway I used to fantasize about Sheena Easton the singer, and music started to get a hold on me, I listened to lyrics intently, eventually I found myself moving back in time musically, started liking The Gratefuldead, Led Zeppelin, Uriah Heep (I was excited that I knew he was a character from Charles Dickens - David Copperfield- but nobody gave a damn.. I was suprised by this and realized most people dont make connections to the un-obvious... it was interesting) and was it by luck or divine intervention I stole a book from a bookstore on my trip back to Ulu Bernam after registering my name to the exam board - it was Arthur Conan Doyles - Sherlock Holmes!! It was amusing and I hardly touched my school books after that and was into it even on lunch breaks-by the way I was picking Palm Oil Seeds that come loose from the bunch, got paid 50cents per gunny sack. I began to think that life was a joke.. Also got into my first real fist fight!! That kid beat the crap out of me. His name was Anbu..

1985 - 1986 :

My elder brother came to get me in Ulu Bernam to do my exam in October 85, he came riding a scooter!! On the way back from that shit hole(I got tired of the place) the scoot brokedown and we spent the night in the mechanic's shop (my brother had to pawn his gold chain to pay for the repair.. not bad for a useless brother, the one thing that he did right was probably that after all the mess and trouble he used to cause, I was in total awe to find that my brother wasnt as selfish as I thought he was. This was when I started to think about things deeply and I realized there in that mechanics floor that "A killer can still be a good father and husband"

to be continued...

I have been away taking a break

I dont know what is wrong but you cant seem to put all your post in selective order anymore..

anyway like they say if it does not kill ya it only makes ya stronger!

Related Stuff

- all photos in this blog is by : Susan Tennent

Sea of Life

The beginning of an end excruciates and consumes all in its path
A sad solemn trail of misery, pain and selfish plots
From the grave back to your cot, unsure of nothing
The merchants of life will take you and your, everything

Now it occurs to me that people choose to see
Only what they want everything to seem and to be
We cannot forgive nor can we forget past deeds
It reeks and it breeds till its equal is drawn upon the next feed

Know the difference know the score or you will absolutely fail
Fie! Fie! Evil it is! fie Evil!!! On this sea of life you will sail
And when it sinks with the weight of your entire life’s labor
Believe you me, you would only choose not to bail!

Here we are

He is bored of life, it sickens him most of the day

But there are moments when his mind strays

Into pleasures of the flesh, desires and foul play

But his will, his pride he cannot betray

Madness dawns upon him to know that another has had more

He wakes up and these thoughts roll ashore

For Years and more fear stalks him as he tends his sores

What if he meets the flesh king of yore and they note his bore!!

He would end the turmoil in his mind on that very note

For his will and pride he can never betray nor save

For it is all that he has and he shall not make it slave

They sit with their crown as he lays there in wait in his cave

His time of absence draws near and of this alone he fears

The love that he has, it tortures and his freedom it sears

The castles of his fantasies so vulgar at the last tier

Will he have to abandon it to save her from her tears?

Money and the "Cents" behind it

Money... the route to all evil, in it yet we trust and sell our god given rights to be a human with pride. All wars regardless of its face are fought because of money which takes on many faces including that of love and lust.

People commit suicide, homicide, cheat steal and rob

Change personalities and become sophisticated snobs

To err is human to forgive divine, or so they say

Show me a man with money who has forgiven a day

And I will show you god walking on the streets of brooklyn
With his angels and demons riding Harleys as hoodlum kings

Money !!... it aint worth it honey...!!

Life on loan

Life is like a bank...We are here on loan... and we have taken more than we could pay back... cheers!

The Prince of Nothing

Born into a throne you don't deserve

Money and gold your only preserve

A prince who one day will be king

Mindless, worthless.. To me you are nothing

Know this worthless prince! I am above you.

A time will come when I'll stand beside you

At that moment, I will strike you down

By God! My hate for life will crack upon your crown!!

You will look up into my merciless eyes

For I shall watch you whimper and die!!

My pride that you took I shall redeem

As I rejoice your agony in my every dream

You, your scum and your damned whores

Will be no more, of this, I am sure

For all my pains and your gains I have the cure

And your death it shall be, to make my soul pure...

I am the king of fools, the man who was damned

In damnation I shall find my salvation, I am my fathers son!!

the king of fools & the man who was damned = previous blogs

Contradicting thrice

I was seeking to find what was wretched in me
Running out of time the torture I failed to see
Six and thirty years has passed me by
And Faith and hope I could not find
I stood still hoping for something kind
But wicked time snatched all that was mine

Breathing, feeling, sensing and seeing
Yet not an ounce of human emotion met me
I was fooled by devices of my own conjuring
I am all that I will never be
And I shall never be all that I am
Ay! The cunning wolf I was, never the lamb

I note your blindness to my bliss in madness
And to share with you my joy in the glory of my sadness
In pride I stride among the carcass of life
Among them lay the enemy whom you call strife
As here I stand contradicting thrice!

Table at the bar

The Table at the Bar

Many dinners were had upon you
A thousand elbows have rested here
Ruffians, gentleman and ladies have ruffled you,
Spilt upon you and carved into you.
Still you stand placid with all your crew.

How strong indeed you are
Just like the tree that you were
And now here you are at this bar,
Still standing in memories of forest slumber
Just being this table at a bar.

The Happening?

I looked up at the sky, it was about 6PM... a thought crossed my mind... "how beautiful"? as global warming and a whole load of other problems man had created for mother earth started to catapult themselves in the already tumour ridden dark and morbid mind of mine - (couldn't resist that one!!) Anyway, my thoughts rattled on, as I saw a bike passing me by emitting enough smoke to suffocate all the immigrants stashed in a trucks under carriage in 60seconds (that was last weeks news) What was happening?? M. Night Shayamalan's happening didn't have a clue, what is it that we are off setting that is causing draughts in some places and flooding other places... Nature's Balance is Imbalanced, the polar caps melting, temperature rising in places and falling in others, atmosphere pressures flipping causing unusual weather patterns... hmmm again I look up at the sky... its was amazing! As a single grey cloud sailed gracefully along the pink hues carrying water to let go on some unsuspecting terrain... 'clouds carrying water'.. cool invention! But why all this trouble around when we have so much water stashed in Hydro Dams all over the world, the 7 gorge dam in china flooding huge valleys, we have a few in Malaysia, we have a heap load in eastern Europe, America (Hoover Dam 726 feet above the Colorado river) and a whole load more in other places... Eureka!! Is that it...? The trapping of water by humans is causing all this, displacing water in mammoth portions, causing an in balance in natural water distribution in air causing sea levels to drop in some place and nature trying to balance itself melts the polar caps instead to compensate. The lack of moisture in the air is causing pressure flips causing unusually strong winds, the reduction in water mass in the atmosphere to transport the water naturally causing draughts in Australia.... Imagine if the sea level drops by 1 or 2 cm and as a result of this the sun becomes unable to evaporate enough water over the vast expanse of the ocean... creating a whole new cycle of chaos as nature tries its best to balance itself.... then again I look up at the sky... the cloud was nowhere to be seen yet it was beautiful... hm mm the big blue... or was it red... who cares, I need a drink...

Fact or Fiction??

I had my questions about the persecutions of the Jews... I've made my conclusions.. but this I found while browsing the net. The link is above.. and I have edited the original context so as to not offend anyone the best I can.. I am not a racist and will never be.. I consider it stupid to be a racist, I dislike certain aspects of a particular race, religion person or family.. but it ends there.. I am re-posting this article here(edited) to see if anyone can shed light to these accusations be it pro or con..

The below is By Jayne Gardener2-19-8

I always used to wonder what it was about Jews that made people throughout history despise them. If they were indeed "God's chosen" I thought, they had to be the unluckiest people in the history of the world.

Why were they persecuted throughout history?

Why had the Nazis herded them into cattle cars and taken them to "extermination camps" to dispose once and for all of the "Jewish problem?"

I suddenly recognized that if Hitler had developed a "Final Solution" to the Jewish question, that there had to have been a "Jewish Problem." Could the Jews have in any way behaved in such a manner that would make the countries in which they resided turn against them, or were they just unfortunate, innocent victims?

I set out to find answers for my questions, mainly turning to the Internet, but also reading various books on the subject. What I found became increasingly disturbing to me.

I had not known that throughout history, the Jews had been expelled from 79 countries, some countries more than once.

I had not known that many of the claims they made about the Holocaust that I had believed unquestioningly for so long were in fact fraudulent.

The books I had read and the movies I had seen about the "Holocaust" and wept over were nothing but thinly veiled attempts to garner unwavering sympathy for the state of Israel and an excuse to extort billions of dollars from Germany and 1.25 billion dollars from the Swiss banks.

I discovered that a book I had read many times as a teenager and cried about, Anne Frank's Diary, had been at least partially written by someone other than Anne Frank.

I learned that the confessions at the Nuremburg Trials and the executions of so many German "war criminals" were were extracted under torture and the defendants were being tried, judged and condemned by their very accusers.

I learned about the "false flag" operations, especially the Lavon affair and the tragedy of the USS Liberty, an American ship that was attacked by the Israelis during the 1967 war. 34 young American men were killed and many more wounded.

To add insult to injury, the Israelis claimed that it was simply an unfortunate case of mistaken identity, something the survivors of the Liberty have always vehemently denied. They, however, were threatened with court martial if they were ever to tell their stories.

I learned about the Jonathan Pollard spy case and other incidents of Israeli Jews spying against their supposed "closest ally."

I became shocked and horrified as I learned about the treatment of the Palestinian people in the occupied territories at the hands of the Israeli Defense Forces and the Jewish settlers. Israel purports to be the only democracy in the middle east, but it's only a democracy for Jews. Non-Jews are not considered equal.

I was saddened to see pictures of innocent Palestinian children burned beyond recognition or suffering from serious gunshot wounds after being targeted by the IDF for no other reason than that they are Palestinian.

I found out about the Jewish history of avariciousness, larceny, lying, manipulation and their questionable and usurious business practices.

I learned about their roles in the radical homosexual movement, the radical feminist movement, the pornography industry as well as their over-representation in the abortion industry.

I discovered their role in organized crime, in the slave trade, in the civil rights movement and in Communism, an ideology that is responsible for the deaths of untold millions and the repression of many millions more.

I learned that it was Jewish supremacists behind the war against Christianity and Christmas. It is they who want God out of the Pledge of Allegiance and all symbols of Christianity removed from public life.


They have driven Christianity from the public schools despite Christianity being the majority religion.

They have taken Christmas out of the public school calendar despite the fact that it is a statutory holiday and it is named Christmas.

I read about the anti-Gentilism and hatefulness of the Babylonian Talmud and their utter disrespect for, and hostility towards Jesus Christ, the Virgin Mary and Christianity and Christians in general.

I learned about their "chutzpah" in claiming that Gentile lives were worth no more than the lives of barnyard animals but that they considered Jewish lives to be akin to God Himself. It's okay to steal from a Gentile or to kill a Gentile, but Jewish lives are sacred.

I learned of their control of the majority of wealth, the media and academia despite them making up less than 2% of the population (even lower in Canada).

They are behind the ridiculous political correctness movement and hate crime legislation that was drafted so as to silence anyone who might figure out their agenda and attempt to shed light on it.

Men like German Rudolf, David Irving and many more, previously recognized as great historians, were arrested, charged with hate crimes and incarcerated simply for having made academic inquiry into a specific period of history.

Other so called "revisionists" or "holocaust deniers" have been intimidated, harassed, assaulted and smeared simply for trying to get at the truth.

I found out that the Jews are responsible for our wide open immigration policies that have created the nightmare we call "multiculturalism," "diversity," inclusiveness" and "pluralism."

It is mostly they who push for race mixing and miscegenation, knowing full well that it would eventually lead to those of white European descent being minorities in their own countries and the eventual extermination of white European DNA.

It is patently clear that the war in Iraq is due solely to Israel wanting to hobble her enemies by destabilizing their governments in order to achieve hegemony in the middle east.

It would be unthinkable for Israeli Jews to die for this cause, so they manipulated the US into the war with the help of the Jewish Zionist "Israel firsters" in the Bush administration in order that the blood of way too many young American men and women is shed instead.

It is they who control the middle eastern foreign policy of the most powerful country in the world, the USA. It is they who control congress, the senate and the puppet president, George W. Bush.

They have such control in movies and television that we are now subjected to endless programs and Hollywood movies that mock Christianity, Christian values and degrade the traditional family.

After sober reflection on what I had discovered about Jewish supremacy and Zionism, I had to abandon all my previously held notions as to the history of Jewish persecution.

What I have trouble understanding is why they continue this behavior in whichever society they live, knowing that eventually they will overplay their hand and their perfidy will be exposed yet again.Has history taught them nothing?

As more and more people become aware of what is going on and who is responsible for it, anger is going to rise as it already has in the former Soviet Union and eastern European countries.

They may control television, movies and the print media, but they don't control the internet. At least not yet. Blogs and websites devoted to "outing" the Jewish supremacists will ultimately be their downfall.

If everyone who sees this information passes it on to at least one other person, the crimes and misdeeds of the Jewish supremacists and Zionists will be exposed. Please, do your part. Pass it on. Our world as we know it is counting on you.

Posted by Jayne Gardener

Susan Louise Tennet

My fiancee who put me up to this ... Her photography work speak visually for the things I write (sometime i think she uses me for marketing heh heh heh - I take as a compliment though.. ha ha ha)... These pictures are to be shared and "NOT" sold... Please feel free to leave your comments about her photography and my poetry, we are working towards writting our book based on what all of you think of the articles, poetry and pictures in this blog. Be honest about the comments, we don't mind critisism at all.... cheers and have fun reading!! And if some of you wish to have these pictures for your personal use leave us your email address in the comment box and which picture you would like to have and we will send it

The Presence

Model: Fitriyani Ibrahim (Soni, mee mee mee)

Many years ago...

I was startled from my placid slumber
By a presence me asunder
My thoughts were rattled
And with my nerves I battled
As the clock struck three and settled

What is this that raises my hair?
For cold is not this morning air
Tis’ a thief ay! Whom I could master I hope
And not something that my mind will not cope
As to my dwellings my sight eagerly scopes

No thief, no scurrying creature on beams
But the presence still lingers it seems
Ah! The fragrant Jasmine or a bloom of its kind
As legends of old rushed into my timid mind
Surely a woman this be of lurid kind

As I sit and my rattled nerves I hold
Racing thru all that I have been told
None of whom ended in their tombs
When this little white flower blooms
And its sweet fragrant spirit looms

At this thought I start to smile
Tea I’ll make while she stays awhile
For maybe she might show and even cry
While I quest her existence in wry
Now I sit and to meet her I try

A quarter past four and I heave a sigh
As the last traces of jasmine fly
A quarter past century hath arrived
Since the night I was rudely surprised
But in my heart my jasmine yet survives

Written by : Ravi The Rat

The Missing Link

By Ravi the Rat

The missing link

I woke up this morning and a strange thought passed over me… I began to think that Charles Darwin the naturalist while on the Island Galapagos of the coast of Ecuador and his much disputed theory of evolution may not have been entirely incorrect nor correct altogether. He stated that a species betters it-self and evolves into higher order – physically. How far this has been proven and debated and denounced is an evolution in human antics by it self. Did they actually even stop to think of cross bred evolution?

This is where my Idea or theory (whatever you wish to name it) kicks in.

What if homo-sapiens did not evolve but were actually bred from two totally different species? Humans have physicals characteristics that enable us to swim, climb and think. What if we were the products of a land animal close to the highest order of the primates cross-bred with a highly intelligent sea creature or something along these lines, maybe even aliens for all I care! My bets on Dolphins!

Humans have used this technique till this day to yield better produce from trees and livestock. Crossbreeding has come to a stage whereby certain illnesses have been eradicated; it has made bigger chickens that lay more eggs, produce cows that yield more milk etc. It could also shed light to certain myths and legends Atlantis for example or Neptune and the sorts.

So throwing caution to the wind. I conclude that the human species are a product from a perverted ape and an extremely horny sea creature or alien. That’s why the missing link is still missing… they never linked it in the first place!